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A Call To Action – “Wake Up The Boys And Grab The Plunger”

6:22AM –   “Honey, I’m hopping  into the shower.  And I mean that literally,” I announced.

“Time to wake up the boys and grab the plunger,”  Richard replied.

“You’re a funny man,”  I said, laughing.  “God I love our life.”

“It’s a good one,” Richard grinned.

A little back story:

Our bedroom is like Grand Central Station.  Allow me to explain and for the record – no, it is not because we’re running some sort of upscale brothel.   Our bedroom is the first place both the children want to be when entering our home.  Is anyone thinking, these people clearly need boundaries?  Well for those who are, you have a valid point.  I don’t agree with it, but it’s valid and for those who were not thinking it, I’ve probably planted that little seed into your minds and NOW you are at least considering the idea.  To you I say… whatever, eye roll and shrug before walking away.  But I digress…

Our children are drawn to our bedroom like bees to the hive.  It’s like some  kind of  vortex, a siren song calling to them.  A place that instills comfort, a feeling of safety and serenity, like a soft, sensual womb.  Or maybe it’s the really big TV screen that calls to Nic and our king sized bed with silky sheets that beckons to Emma, it’s hard to say and I haven’t done a scientific study (pause)  yet.  As a result our bed is in a constant state of unmade disarray, rumpled sheets, pillows abandoned on the floor, mattress askew.  Richard, who, it has to be said, is just a tad compulsive – cough, cough, totally OCD, cough – about the bed being made each morning, is driven to distraction by this state of affairs.  We make our bed at least four times throughout the day.  Richard is rolling his eyes and muttering – What’s she talking about “we”?  I’m the one who’s making it all the time, not her.   But why quibble about the details?  All of that is beside the point.

It is not just our bedroom that draws the occupants of our house, it is our bathroom as well.  We have three bathrooms and yet, the children prefer ours.  Again, I have no answers.  So it is not unusual for Richard and I, as happened last night, to come home from our “date night” to find our toilet clogged.  To be blunt, both our children are cloggers, ‘nuf said.   I’m German, or at least part German and could go on and on about this, but the Swiss part of me is calling for a little restraint, so I will.  Restrain.  Myself.

Because we are busy and somewhat disorganized, we have not gotten it together to purchase more than one plunger for the house.  And last night that one, coveted plunger was not in our bathroom.   Not wanting to risk waking either child to locate said plunger, we opted to leave the toilet seat down and figure it out in the morning.  I know, this is bordering on TMI (too much information).  What?  I’ve already entered into the TMI zone?  Okay, well again, whatever… All of this is in explanation for Richard’s call to action, “Wake up the boys and grab the plunger!”  Personally, I think it’s an excellent way to start the morning. I intend to repeat this, completely out of context, in the coming weeks and months, because, well that’s the way I roll.

As a quick aside,  Emma will be singing in her end of the year performance at her school this morning.  I cannot wait!

Emma took this photograph of our bedroom two days ago.  Can we all appreciate the symmetry, the angle, the lighting…

An Ode To Richard

I’m not trying to confuse anyone.  I post Monday through Friday.  Father’s Day was yesterday, so technically, writing an “Ode to Richard” today makes more sense than posting it last Friday when it would have been more than 48 hours away as opposed to about ten (at the time of this writing.)  Or so goes my convoluted logic.

Father’s Day, 2012 – Richard walking along the Hudson River with Emma and Nic

Autism doesn’t say much about all those dads out there who are tirelessly working to help their autistic children.  I know a few of them, but the one I know best, obviously is my husband, Richard.  This post is for him.

An Ode To Richard

You didn’t have a role model in your own father, yet you’ve managed to become one to your two children, Nic and Emma.

You’ve taken the traumas of your past, looked at them, dissected them and in doing so, pushed yourself to make sure you won’t repeat their lessons.

You are strong and secure enough to know that men can and do cry and those tears in no way diminish who you are, but serve to make you even more courageous and brave.

Your sense of humor has taught your children that nothing is so serious we cannot laugh.

By pursuing your dreams and doggedly doing what you love, you have shown them that they too can dream.

By never giving up, persevering and following your heart instead of a career you detest, but that will ensure a large income, you have encouraged them to follow their own.

By working tirelessly toward a goal, no matter how many obstacles have been thrown in your path, you have taught them to never give up.

By never accepting the word ‘no’ when applied to something you want, you have taught your children that what they want and care about is important.  You have taught them that they are important.

Through your compassion you show your children the path leading toward humanity, love and kindness and away from violence, cruelty and narcissism.

By giving your children your time, by enjoying their presence, by actively participating in their daily struggles, you have given them a gift no one will ever be able to take from them.

You have provided them with a role model so that they may not have to work as hard as you have.

You have given them the gift of knowing they are loved by their father, accepted completely for who they are and who they will become and in doing so you have provided them with a stability and security no structure or amount of money can.

You have provided them with a map, to help them navigate this life.

In giving, you have received.  In listening,  you have been heard.   In leading, you have been led.  In loving them, you are loved.  And yet you do all of this, not because you want anything in return, you do all of this because this is who you are.

To Richard.  My love.  My partner.  My inspiration.

Related Articles:

Richard, Oxytocin, Literacy & Love – Not Necessarily in That Order

Aspen, Work and Richard

Marriage – Part I

Marriage – Part II

This one is for the dads (Stuart Duncan’s Blog – Autism From a Father’s Point of View)