An Ode To Richard

I’m not trying to confuse anyone.  I post Monday through Friday.  Father’s Day was yesterday, so technically, writing an “Ode to Richard” today makes more sense than posting it last Friday when it would have been more than 48 hours away as opposed to about ten (at the time of this writing.)  Or so goes my convoluted logic.

Father’s Day, 2012 – Richard walking along the Hudson River with Emma and Nic

Autism doesn’t say much about all those dads out there who are tirelessly working to help their autistic children.  I know a few of them, but the one I know best, obviously is my husband, Richard.  This post is for him.

An Ode To Richard

You didn’t have a role model in your own father, yet you’ve managed to become one to your two children, Nic and Emma.

You’ve taken the traumas of your past, looked at them, dissected them and in doing so, pushed yourself to make sure you won’t repeat their lessons.

You are strong and secure enough to know that men can and do cry and those tears in no way diminish who you are, but serve to make you even more courageous and brave.

Your sense of humor has taught your children that nothing is so serious we cannot laugh.

By pursuing your dreams and doggedly doing what you love, you have shown them that they too can dream.

By never giving up, persevering and following your heart instead of a career you detest, but that will ensure a large income, you have encouraged them to follow their own.

By working tirelessly toward a goal, no matter how many obstacles have been thrown in your path, you have taught them to never give up.

By never accepting the word ‘no’ when applied to something you want, you have taught your children that what they want and care about is important.  You have taught them that they are important.

Through your compassion you show your children the path leading toward humanity, love and kindness and away from violence, cruelty and narcissism.

By giving your children your time, by enjoying their presence, by actively participating in their daily struggles, you have given them a gift no one will ever be able to take from them.

You have provided them with a role model so that they may not have to work as hard as you have.

You have given them the gift of knowing they are loved by their father, accepted completely for who they are and who they will become and in doing so you have provided them with a stability and security no structure or amount of money can.

You have provided them with a map, to help them navigate this life.

In giving, you have received.  In listening,  you have been heard.   In leading, you have been led.  In loving them, you are loved.  And yet you do all of this, not because you want anything in return, you do all of this because this is who you are.

To Richard.  My love.  My partner.  My inspiration.

Related Articles:

Richard, Oxytocin, Literacy & Love – Not Necessarily in That Order

Aspen, Work and Richard

Marriage – Part I

Marriage – Part II

This one is for the dads (Stuart Duncan’s Blog – Autism From a Father’s Point of View)

8 responses to “An Ode To Richard

  1. I wish there was a “love you” button instead of a “like this” button. I’d push it all day long. My face is red from this embarrassment of riches. I love you Ariane. I love our family. I love our great adventure together. There are tragic moments, but it is not a tragedy. Funny moments, but not a comedy. Ours is a life well lived, worth more than any treasure. You and Emma and Nic are the treasures. Our family and friends are treasures. What you’re doing here is a treasure. It is important. Every day you shine more light into a world filled with misconceptions, false assumptions, wrong conclusions, discrimination, condescension and sorrow by the power of your example, your relentless honesty, your compassion, your determination to understand every side of the story, your journey to acceptance, without surrendering your goals. I’m a very lucky man to share this journey with you. Hey, wait a second…am I “ode-ing” you back?

  2. You are both worthy of odes and a big bouquet of love..
    Paula/Mom/Granma And who else is so lucky as to have three (3) ways to sign??

  3. I am filled with joy by reading this. So beautiful the support you give to one another, the love…..I am honored to have read both odes:)

  4. So sweet and wonderful!

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