Tag Archives: traveling

A Word of Thanks

Posted on November 19, 2013 by | 3 comments

Em and I are traveling again, so after publishing Emma’s post debut, and what a first post it was (!!!!), for the “This is Autism Flashblog” we got on an airplane.  As we didn’t get to our hotel until after eight in the evening, we didn’t read all the lovely comments so many of you left until quite late.  Thank you.  As a parent it means a great deal to have such an outpouring of support and encouragement for Emma’s first post, particularly as it was a post that was incredibly personal.  Emma wrote, “Thank you everyone”  before falling asleep.

The flashblog has almost 250 posts at the moment.  It was a wild success and shows the range and complexity of views about what exactly “autism” is.  Anyone who hasn’t gone over there to read what others had to say, I encourage you to  spend some time doing so.

There is so much I want to say about the flashblog, autism, grassroots protesting, being the parent of a child whose neurology I do not share, but have overlaps with, functioning labels, how we can all influence change, how the more of us who join in, the quicker these shifts will occur, why I keep showing up here day after day instead of sleeping for another couple of hours, but I don’t have time this morning as we have an appointment in another hour that we cannot be late for.

Thankfully I had the foresight to opt for a GPS system on our rental car and do not anticipate getting lost as I did the last time we made this trip.  As a testament to this decision, Emma did not once shout from the backseat, “Oh no!  We’re going the wrong way!” last night, for which I am extremely grateful.

The adventure continues!

Em

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Routines Disrupted

Posted on August 23, 2013 by | 33 comments

We have been traveling.  Our cell phone and internet coverage has been spotty and in some places we’ve had none at all.  As a result my routine, which usually means I wake up when Emma comes into our room, (anywhere from 5:15AM – 6:00AM) get dressed and go to my studio where I begin the day by writing, has been disrupted.  The beautiful thing about traveling is that there is no room for routines.  We’ve spent a few days with my sister, gone on a rafting trip down the Colorado River, gone horseback riding, gotten lost, spent time with one of my brothers, hung out with one of my cousins, (I have a large and sprawling family that live all over the United States and even world, and my mother’s house is often the only place we get to see one another.)  So it’s been really wonderful and lots of fun.

When I have gotten up early enough to write AND the internet is cooperating, I have begun a post only to have Em say she doesn’t want me to write about the topic I began writing about.  In fact, I have started three different posts, and Em has shot down every single one of them.  This could be seen as a bad thing, but I don’t view it that way.  I see this as an incredibly good, no, a great thing.  The first time I told her what I was starting to write about and asked her permission, she said no, I was surprised.  The second time I began writing about something else and asked her permission, I was surprised and amused when she typed “no, I do not want you to write that.”  The third time I thought – this is great!  Great because this blog began with no thought of her opinion and has evolved to represent only what she agrees to and may well end because of her thoughts and opinions.

What all of this means is that I haven’t been writing every morning.

So I will end with something Em typed to me the other day and told me I could post.  She typed, “Language is an awkward way to communicate.”  She would not elaborate further and why would she, as that sentence says it all.

The Rocky Mountains

View From Cabin

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Explaining Travel to Emma

Posted on July 20, 2011 by | Leave a comment

I flew back to Aspen, Colorado yesterday, alone.  Explaining to Emma why I had to return so quickly was difficult.  First of all I don’t know how much she understands and since she cannot ask me questions the way her older, neuro-typical, brother, Nic does, I cannot know what goes through her mind.  So when I told both children ten days ago that I was going to have to go back to Aspen because of my store, Nic said, “NOOOOOO!  You only just came home!  That’s so unfair, Mom.  Why do you have to go back?”

Emma remained silent.  I explained that there were things I needed to take care of at the store, that it was part of the deal with owning one’s own business, it’s just what one has to do.  After awhile, Emma wandered away muttering, “Sleep, wake up, camp on the lake, sleep, wake up, get on airplane.”

Nic meanwhile was angry, then teary, then resigned.  “I know, honey.  It’s a drag.  But you, Daddy and Em will come out in August so it won’t be so long this time that we’re all apart.”

“No Mom.  It’s not a drag.  This sucks,” he said, before turning away from me, his arms crossed, to stare out the window.

“I’m so sorry, Nicky.”

And as sorry as I was that Nic was upset, I wondered what was going on through Emma’s mind.  Was she just accepting that this was how things were, did she have questions?  What was she feeling?

Impossible for me to know.

This past weekend I pulled out a calendar and went over it with Nic and Emma.  Pointing to various dates, I said, “Okay so this is when I have to leave.”

“Get on airplane, fly back to Aspen,” Emma said, looking at the box with the number 19 on it where my finger was positioned.

“Yeah.  That’s right Em.  That’s the day I have to go back.”

“Sleep, wake up, get on airplane,” she said.

“Just me, Em.  You guys are going to go to camp and stay in New York with Daddy,” I explained.  “Then look, on this day you, Daddy, Nic and Jackie are going to fly out to Aspen.  That’s in twelve days.  And here, this is when Joe comes out and Jackie has to go back, then here is when we all fly back to New York together.”  I looked at both of them.  “Okay?”

“I don’t want you to go again.  We’ve only had you for like three days,” Nic said.

“Two weeks.”  I put my arm around him.  “I know.  I know.”

“It’s not fair,” Nic said.

“Sleep, wake up, sleep wake up…”  Emma began, counting on her fingers how many sleep, wake ups it would be before they flew out to Aspen to meet me.  “Go to YMCA with just Mommy?”  Emma said after she had finished counting out 12 “sleep, wake ups”.

“No, Em.  But Daddy will take you.”

“Go to YMCA with just Daddy,” she repeated and then scooted away on her scooter.

Yesterday morning as I was gathering my things to go downstairs, Emma ran over to me and threw her arms around me.  “Bye Mommy!” She said, burying her face into me.

“I’m going to miss you so much, Em.”

“Miss you,” she said, before pulling away.

For more on Emma’s journey through a childhood of autism, go to:  www.EmmasHopeBook.com

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