Beep. Leave a Message


Waiting for a message that cannot find its way

from brain to muscles

that connect to sounds we know to be

recognizable words with understood context.

They elude, slipping and sliding

they have no legs

slithering in the muck of misunderstanding

those words that manage to escape from my mouth are heard,

but baffle.


Battling it out for recognition are the silent thoughts that are not

“you need to take a turn to share

“you have to wait our turn

“you want to go fast?

“you have to share”

Words, words and more words.

She has language they say, but the language she shouts is not a language at all

buffering frustration, relieving anxiety, clouding meaning

I’d whisper if I could

but I can’t.


25 responses to “Beep. Leave a Message

  1. Emma – you’re amazing. I know what you’re writing isn’t exactly poetry, but it is definitely lyrical. My partner Derek sometimes reads your blog with me, and he says that sometimes you take the words right out of his head that he can’t get out. It really helps him (and me) to know that someone else understands.

    Keep up the great work – it’s amazing seeing you explore and write 🙂

  2. Stephanie James

    Powerful! Thank you, Emma.

  3. Reblogged this on Naimeless and commented:
    Emma’s pretty cool. You should definitely follow her on her adventure.

  4. Beautiful words from a beautiful mind and soul.

  5. Bravo!

    Sent from my iPhone


  6. Wow. Just…wow. There are so many layers of meaning in this. So profound, so poignant. Your mind senses, understands and communicates at a level so much more advanced than mine. I could meditate on every line of this for an hour and still not fully “get it.” Every post you’ve written since taking over the blog is more amazing than the next. Go Emma!

  7. Yay! Love it! My body has not been obeying me lately either. From back injuries to the flu, it’s really been a rough time. Our bodies help us live…but they can be evil sometimes. Trust me, I know.

  8. Thank you Emma. You help this mom and daughter way more than you know.

  9. Wonderful Emma, thank you

  10. Beautiful and meaningful, thanks.

  11. sanghamaitreya

    Thank you Emma for sharing. You are a beautiful poet.

  12. Reblogged this on bunnyhopscotch and commented:
    Today was a glorious nonverbal day for me. I don’t need words to commune with Lucy. We think and speak through out senses. Here is yet another poignant post by the amazing Emma… so timely, about words… “They elude, slipping and sliding
    they have no legs
    slithering in the muck of misunderstanding”…

  13. once again, your words leave me breathless. thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing these beautiful glimpses of you.

  14. Emma, I keep reading and re-reading this poem and every time I get to the end my heart skips a beat like the first time I read it. I don’t know how you’re able to paint such a vivid picture with your words, but each word is perfectly placed and together they produce a beautiful harmony. I open each post from you with excitement like a Christmas present- what did Emma write today? And yet I’m never quite prepared for the beauty of what follows.

  15. Hello, Emma. I know this is your blog, but please may I leave a message for your mom here since I know she reads it?

      • Thanks, Emma.
        Ariane, I’ve only been reading this blog since about 2012, but I have read some of your older posts. In the beginning, you sounded like one of what I call “Autism $peaks’ darlings”, but through the years you have allowed yourself to grow and learn so much that you are now one of the most valuable allies that Autistic people, especially your daughter, can have. Thank you so much for gaining the understanding and acceptance necessary for that.

        • This message made me smile. Thank you. I have been incredibly fortunate to have had so many Autistic people willing to help me, including my daughter, who has been the most patient and understanding of all.
          Over the years I have deleted some of the more offensive posts, though there are plenty remaining that I’m not proud of, but Emma has control over all content now, as it should be.

          • This message made me smile. Thank you.
            You’re welcome, I’m glad it did.
            Over the years I have deleted some of the more offensive posts […]
            Understandable, you don’t want people who don’t read further thinking you still believe certain things.
            […] Emma has control over all content now, as it should be.
            Fitting in with your philosophy of allowing Autistic people to speak for ourselves, I guess.

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