Yesterday I wrote a post, Seeing But Unable to Believe about people who see people like my daughter and assume they are incapable of a great many things. These are the people for whom presuming competence is not only the exact opposite of what they do, but is something they have trouble wrapping their minds around. In the comments section of yesterday’s post, someone I adore, Chou Chou, who has been commenting on this blog for almost two years now, wrote, “…if I am walking in a confusing environment, I can hold Doc’s arm and find my way, and even lead the way. He doesn’t guide. He anchors.” She was relating this to my thoughts about supporting my daughter while she types. Even though my daughter can type independently, she is able to converse if supported.
“He anchors.” I thought about this idea ever since Chou Chou left it here. The idea of anchoring is one I love. It is exactly what I hope to provide for both my children; to be an anchor. Solid, stable, grounded, rooted… Being an anchor, someone who provides both physical and emotional support for another human being. I think we all need that, I know I do. I have a number of anchors in my life and I rely on all of them. In the context of supporting my daughter as she types, I am reminded of something Amy Sequenzia told me once when I asked her about being supported. She told me it was more than physical support that was needed; she needed to be able to trust the person supporting her.
Trust. When I am with someone who I do not trust it is impossible for me to relax. If I feel I am doubted or am on the defensive I have a much harder time getting my needs met. If the person who says they are trying to help me, keeps ignoring my requests, continues to tell me I should need something else, I become confused. I do not, for a second believe I am alone in my response to those who say they want to help, but who seem unable to hear me when I tell them what I actually need.
If you’ve ever spent time in a hospital or have been in a situation where you were accused of something you did not do, or have been told that what you’ve stated is not believed, you will have an idea of what I am talking about. In a world where people are living longer, more and more of us will one day have to consider living without the independence we might prefer. Many of us will need assistance, many of us will be forced to rely on others. Being an anchor for those who need support is something each of us can give to another, but it is also something most of us will need at some point in our life, or if you are like me, throughout your life.
One of my anchors…