My friend Paula Moerland allowed me to post this.
“Nearly every moment of my existence
Has been filled with the necessity of caring for this body
This emotional body, so distraught
This mental body, so busy
This physical body, so out of balance
I am not selfish
I am exhausted”
When I first read this I had to close my eyes and sit very still. And as I sat, I remembered something my father said to me so many years ago when he was in a wheel chair. He told me constant pain was exhausting. I was surprised by this. I had never before considered what it must be like to be in constant pain.
None of us are getting out of here alive and while we live our lives there’s going to be pain, but some people have to endure terrible suffering. Too awful for most of us to fully understand or even know. All of us know someone who has dealt with inordinate pain and yet somehow managed to find a way to transcend it, or used it to create something magnificent. Those people are guides. I hear their stories and am in awe of their ability to cope with physical and mental abuse often at the hands of those they should have been able to trust, the very people who should have been there to comfort them, to care for them , but instead turned on them. Yet despite those wounds they are trying to transcend it, they have the desire to rise above it, not give into it. There is tremendous power in that. We humans have an astonishing ability to not only endure, but create astonishing beauty.
Thank you Paula for sending me your beautiful words.
New York City in October