Processing… I haven’t. There are still too many people who are without power, whose homes have been destroyed, too many people who continue to have no heat, no hot water or any water at all, too many displaced people, too many who have lost so much…. How does one process this?
Nic had nightmares last night about a zombie apocalypse where he was the lone survivor. Emma is perseverating more than usual; her stims have gotten noticeably worse; her scripting more pronounced. I watched her yesterday as she did her Sunday morning DJ routine, listening to all her favorite songs, singing and dancing, losing herself in the music and felt both grateful for all we have and utterly exhausted. I slept seven and half hours last night and yet feel as though it were 5. I am feeling fragile particularly sensitive and emotional, and we were the lucky ones. We have power, heat, hot water, a home that is undamaged, everything’s back to “normal” and yet it isn’t. I don’t know what normal means anymore. Where do we go from here? How do we process this?
On Friday I went downtown and took photographs. The lighting wasn’t great, it was impossible to capture the mood or what it felt like to walk along empty streets where the only lights came from headlights on busses, taxis and those who still had enough gas in their cars to get around. I couldn’t photograph the group of young women weeping in the street or the man looking for his father whom he had not heard from in four days or the old woman painstakingly climbing the stairs of her unlit building, her pug tugging on its leash, urging her upwards into the darkness or the faces of all those people I passed obsessively checking their dead cell phones, trudging north with the hope they might find an available electrical socket that would breathe life into it. I’m not a skilled enough photographer to be able to capture any of that. (I’ve provided a couple of links to some professional photographers who were though.) But I did get a few images that at least document the storm and our resilience…
We are capable of so much.
- A City Divided (emmashopebook.com)
- Best photograph of the NY power outage (piedtype.com)
- Photographs of a New York City Plunged Into Darkness After the Storm (petapixel.com)