A friend of mine in describing a man we both knew who had a surprising amount of chest hair, so much that it resembled ivy growing up a trellis and a love of wearing white tank tops, exclaimed, “He looks like a chia pet in a wife beater!” It was one of those moments when I laughed, the kind of laughter where you are actually doubled over, gasping for breath, that kind of laughter. Those words were said to me over 15 years ago now, yet I still remember it as though it were yesterday. I know, it’s not nice to make fun of people, but these are tough times, calling for tough measures. I’m on the front lines here, so this morning I decided to pull out the big guns.
Can we all agree? This is nothing short of hilarious. I don’t know which is more troubling, the fact that Donald Trump has insisted on wearing his hair this way for decades or the fact that I felt the need to actually go on the internet and download this photograph. Like I said, these are desperate times, requiring desperate measures. And might I just add? This man has done me a tremendous service. I cannot look at this photograph and feel sad at the same time. It simply is not possible.
Yesterday, while talking to Richard, I disagreed with him. (It doesn’t matter about what, and anyway I can’t remember.) He began to argue with me about why I was incorrect. I then raised my voice and accused him of going “global” and that this was a specific comment, not a broader condemnation of everything he’d just said. Richard looked at me with a look of annoyance mixed with amusement and then gave me the finger. He held it there, about four inches from my nose. “Get that thing out of my face or I’m going to bite it,” I said. But he didn’t move his finger for a few seconds, just to get his point across. I looked over at him and then we began laughing. Because really, what else can one do?
I don’t pretend to know how Emma experiences the world. I cannot speak for her. I can barely speak for myself. But I am grateful that she, too, finds arbitrary and seemingly random things funny – like zombies and Winnie the Pooh and her friends Charlie and Gabriel and Justus from her school. I am thankful for those things and the people who make her laugh.
“Who’s the best girl in the whole world?” I asked her this morning when she came into our bed and snuggled up against me.
“I am!” she shouted.
Yes, she is.
For more on Emma’s journey through a childhood of autism, go to: Emma’s Hope Book
Emma's Hope Book 
It sounds like you have a lot of laughter in your home…..so good for the heart! I have to take Emma to the doctor today. I have never shared this with you, but she has horrible rages and tantrums. I kept thinking that they would get better, the older she became. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. As I am typing, I am filled with such guilt that I have messed up, did not do enough, that if I had done the right thing, she would have gotten better like other kids. I know that logically this makes no sense, but sometimes, emotions trump logic, especially when they are involving the single most important person in your life, the person that you are supposed to protect, supposed to get rid of the monsters in the closet for, supposed to kiss there boo boos and magically make the hurt disappear. I feel like a failure of a mom because I cannot do any of these things. Then more guilt ensues, and I worry that Emma will pick up on these feelings of failure and guilt and feel like it is her fault…..more guilt…..uggh. Sorry to bombard you with my stuff today…..do not know where else to go with it. I am scared. I am sad. I hope your falling out has taking an upswing. Keep laughing!
Oh Kelly… Here, here’s a huge hug, a big strong embrace that won’t take any of this away or fix anything. It’s just a hug, from one mom who understands to another. Your comment yesterday when I felt so, so awful, so full of pain and doubt and worry helped me more than I can say. I am thinking of you and your Emma and sending you both hugs. You are not alone. You did not cause your daughter’s pain, sensory issues or upset. This is not your fault. You have done nothing wrong. With love,
Ariane
thank you…..you have no idea what your blog has done for my life. Everyday I read your words and somehow, it provides me with comfort, knowing someone out there understands. It has been the roughest day in a long long time…..and I am counting down the hours til bedtime, hoping that tomorrow will bring another day filled with new hopes and possibilities. Thank you for the hug, thank you for your courage to share your triumphs and your joys as well as the fallouts and fears….thank you so very much for your kindness.
Brett giggles a lot…..unfortunately it is usually when he has high yeast levels. It is almost like he has been at the bar all day! YIKES…..so the reason he is laughing can be bad but his laugh is so infectious and to just see him appear to be happy gives me a secret smile. I should be running for more nystatin but sometimes I will admit, I am enjoying that silliness with my son. No matter what the reason! I too am glad he smiles and giggles whatever it may be about!
BIG BIG HUGS to Kelly!!! B~
Do you think Donald is making some kind of statement that he is so rich and powerful that he can go around wearing such a god awful hair piece and get away with it? At least we get to to laugh at a man who is so rich yet so silly he doensnt know how bad he looks/ I wonder which it is. We had a good laugh last night.Liam has started leaving out shopping lists of what he wants to buy with his birthday money from his Nan last nightas. Found a message on the frigewritten by him “On Saturday Liam and Liams dad can fly to USA to get talking Gordon and select the quarter and nickel and fly back to Australia.”
Do you think he knows how far it is?
Kelly I am so sorry. My little girl is very similar and it is heart brewaking when she flies into a rage or breaks down crying. Please know that as mothers we want to fix all our childrens pain and take it away but that just isn’t possible. I think the hardest thing that parents of children with disability face is living with our children’s pain.
Thank you all so much for your support and kind words. They are all so greatly appreciated. hugs to you all right back!
Liz – but what does that mean? “select the quarter and nickel” I love that. By the way, TD (The Donald) insists that it is his hair and not a toupee. He’s even gone on TV and pulled his hair to show that it’s attached to his scalp. We New Yorkers are fascinated by TD’s hair, not so much him or his vast wealth, but just his hair, because it’s just so insane!
Really it is his hair?
“select” I am sure is from a computer game Liam plays where you have to “select” a combination of the right coins to purchase a costume. I am guessing he is “selecting” the quarter and nickel to pay for the train. Just how Liam soaks up language