Lucid Dreaming

Richard spent (he claims it was just half an hour, but I swear it was a lot longer than that) last night talking to me about lucid dreaming.  When he had finished reading choice chapters from one of the many books he is currently reading on the subject, he moved to the copious notes he’s taken.  When it was all over, after I had learned that certain molecules along with serotonin are released producing a “dream state,” after he had finished hypothesizing how Emma’s “autism” seems somewhat similar to the dream state he’s been reading about, one in which our senses are jumbled and different than in our “waking” state, after he had finished telling me about his own theories, questions, thoughts and opinions, he said, “What do you think?”

My brain, a jumbled mess of information, bursting with an overflow of information ranging from the physical to the metaphysical to quantum physics to quantum mechanics was in no state to produce meaningful additions to the topic at hand.  Science was never a subject that captivated me, unlike my mother and two of my brothers – one’s a physicist, the other a bio-chemist.  Clearly the science genes were used up on them and by the time I came along there just weren’t any left.  Never-the-less, I did my best to formulate some kind of not-too-ridiculous-comments, which I only prayed related to all that he’d been talking about.  As I did this, I looked over at him and felt overwhelmed.  Not by the subject matter, though I admit, I did feel a bit overwhelmed by that too, but I am referring to the feeling I felt.  It was the same way I felt when I first met Richard.  It was as though I was falling in love all over again.  Not that I had fallen out of love, more like just falling deeper or maybe it’s more accurate to say I felt myself aware that I continue to fall, that I’ve never really hit the bottom, there’s not been a stopping, that it’s a continuous falling in love that doesn’t end.  There was something about the look on his face, a certain intensity, his brain whirling around with all of this information, his trying to make sense of our Emma, the studying, the research, his ability to see things differently, his way of being in this world, yet always searching for other ways to view it…

I love that man.

No one could have told me that when we had our two children, I would end up loving my husband more than I already did.  No one could have described to me the feeling of gratitude I would feel on a daily basis toward this man who has been as actively involved in child-rearing as I have.  No one could have told me any of that.

And if they had, I wouldn’t have believed them.

For more on Emma’s journey through a childhood of autism, go to:   Emma’s Hope Book

7 responses to “Lucid Dreaming

  1. I love it, and to think that it’s all because of quantum physics that you were prompted to express your feelings…indeed there must be multiuniverses, as Brian Greene affirms. Or have we all fallen through a black hole?

  2. I’m going with the black hole… And by the way, do you like my theory about genetics? Smooie would certainly have approved.

  3. This is beautiful….really. It even brought a tear to my eye. You and your husband are an inspiration to me of sorts. That kind of joint commitment to each other, to your family, is inspiring. Emma’s dad and myself fell victim to the ever growing statistic of divorce for parents of autistic children. I think it is in the 80 percentile. So when I read this, it gives me a new kind of hope relating to autism, hope for the family. So thank you:) On a different note, have you or Richard heard anything about hook worm and parasites relating to autism therapy?

  4. Hi Kelly,
    I remembering vaguely hearing something about hookworms and the gut, but couldn’t remember anything specific so I just went online. A great many articles about it, everything from it’s miraculous to some worrisome comments from a guy with Crohn’s who feels he has developed neuropathy as a result of using them. Here is a link, if you haven’t already seen this –

    The book just out called: Cutting Edge Therapies for Autism 2011-2012 evidently talks about it too.
    Tell me what you know.

  5. I don’t know a ton honestly. A year ago I heard a story on NPR about a man from England who had severe allergies/asthma who decided to go to AFrica and walk barefoot in the latrines in order to get hookworm. After returning home , that spring he no longer got his debilitating symptoms. He then decided to start helping autoimmune patients, particularly MS. He started selling hookworm in a clean manner. I am of the belief these days that autism is autoimmune. Her DANS doctor and I spoke about hookworm a year ago. HE thinks parasites are the answer and make complete sense, but being a doctor with the oath of doing no harm, he could not be the one to give it to her, because hookworm can cause anemia. However, anemia is easily treatable. He also told me about pig parasites being used in Germany with autistic children having great results. Pig parasites die off inside of a person within ten days so you have to keep taking them. It is expensive though. This year, actually two weeks ago, Emma’s pediatrician brought up hookworms as a viable choice, calling it far less risky than other treatments. If you have seen the Horseboy documentary, I have questions surrounding the improvement and him being exposed to parasites as well. Recently, I have been thinking about it again. There was a study about a bacteria found in the gut of autistic children that is not found in the gut of other children. Anyway, this about sums up my brief knowledge surrounding hookworm, but I plan to research it heavily within the next month. Let me know if you hear of anything please.

  6. Hi Kelly,
    Yes, I will let you know. This is the article about the British man you mentioned who went to Africa.
    Let me know if you try it.

  7. By the way Kelly, today’s post in no way pokes fun at hook worms, I actually don’t know enough about the therapy to have an opinion. I posted a number of links today and some of them sound promising. Do let me know if you find out anything interesting.

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