Comments for Emma's Hope Book

Comment on “Presume Competence” – What Does That Mean Exactly? by nostromo

nostromo — Tue, 21 May 2013 23:37:08 +0000

I second what Ariane has said below. I’d add that some of the things used to motivate a non-autistic child in a classroom setting – both positive and negative motivators – won’t apply with a child with autism or will apply to a lesser degree. For example if there is an understanding that doing what your peers or the group is doing is a socially good thing to do (i.e. everyone else is doing what the teacher says so I should) may not apply. In fact in this example the non-autistic children are in fact getting a ‘reward’ for carrying out activites; they get peer and teacher approval, and they avoid admonishment, but for the autistic child this may not have the same level of motivation, so other types of motivator need to be found.
These can be faded or altered with time, for example my son who is non-verbal and has intellectual disability now loves being told he is a good boy or doing well at something and this motivates him, it only used to be M&Ms .

Comment on “Proof” of Competence by erebusetnox

erebusetnox — Tue, 21 May 2013 17:42:16 +0000

I feel like I’ve missed a lot! So much going on….
M’s PPT is tomorrow…I have to make my list of Things we want to stop worrying about – primarily the “passing” issue…the teacher may not like me bringing it up at this moment, but I’m tired of all that distracting his energy away from learning.
The question is, what to do when he needs to be more active than is workable in the classroom? He gets movement breaks (where he can bounce, or do whatever) but that’s in the special ed room. Does anyone have a recommendation for how I might word some of this?
We finished a book that his class had read in school “Blood on the River” – about Jamestown. He really enjoyed it, and I thought we’d try The Lightning Thief. Nope. He did *not* like that at all. Now we’re trying A Wrinkle In Time, which seems to be going better. Meg & Charles Wallace once gave me hope that being “odd” was a better thing than fitting in, after all

Comment on “Proof” of Competence by Madness | Gray skies

Madness | Gray skies — Tue, 21 May 2013 17:26:55 +0000

[…] – reading to two boys…one of whom is autistic. But I have gotten a firm hold of Ariane Zurcher’s blog, and my entire sense of hope has been redesigned. We just started A Wrinkle In Time – […]

Comment on A “Miracle” or the Norm? by nisha360

nisha360 — Tue, 21 May 2013 15:00:08 +0000

You’re right it’s not a miracle it;s the norm the way the media potrays people who are different is quite patronizing they applaud us for doing things we’re supposed to be doing.

Comment on “Proof” of Competence by sophiestrains

sophiestrains — Tue, 21 May 2013 14:18:04 +0000

Hello Ariane
I am new to your blog as we have just recently started this journey with my daughter, who turns 3 this week. It was an overwhelming and confusing year for sure and I felt as if I was fumbling in the dark (my first blog posts reflect that). But like you, I was proven (already!) by my girl just how competent she is, if I just get out of her way with my “help”. Gradually I have been shifting towards really working with her and not trying to bring her over to my way of doing things (with only best intentions of course). I look forward to following you and reading some of the resources you provided. It’s hard to make sense of all the conflicting information, but I think we are finally on the right path. Feel free to come on by to my blog and meet Soaps when you get a chance!

Comment on A “Miracle” or the Norm? by arianezurcher

arianezurcher — Tue, 21 May 2013 11:42:18 +0000

Oh I’m so glad Michelle! <3

Comment on A “Miracle” or the Norm? by arianezurcher

arianezurcher — Tue, 21 May 2013 11:41:11 +0000

Thank you Emma. (Another Emma!!) Wonderful to hear you grew up being encouraged and given opportunities!

Comment on A “Miracle” or the Norm? by arianezurcher

arianezurcher — Tue, 21 May 2013 11:39:42 +0000

My son was introduced to typing in grade school, but he was highly motivated because of wanting to access the computer and play videos and other things. Em taught herself to find her favorite youtube videos when she was about 6, now she’s an old pro. She navigates youtube faster than anyone in our home!
I always think about living in New York City and learning to drive a car or ride a bike. Many young people who grow up in this city don’t learn to do either, yet none assume they cannot learn or won’t learn. It is surprising how often these assumptions are made when someone is Autistic.

Comment on A “Miracle” or the Norm? by arianezurcher

arianezurcher — Tue, 21 May 2013 11:32:52 +0000

Oh good! Thank you so much Petri, I really appreciate it.

Comment on “Presume Competence” – What Does That Mean Exactly? by arianezurcher

arianezurcher — Tue, 21 May 2013 11:31:21 +0000

A couple things here – do not assume he is “stubbornly” refusing to do anything. Try to think about it this way – pick a topic you find incredibly challenging, something you did not do well in when you were in school. Now add to this challenge the fact that most of the adults you interacted with assumed you were not only incapable of a great many things that you could learn and do, but you couldn’t tell them you were. You had no way of communicating these things, either because you couldn’t retrieve the right words to do so, or you tried and were ignored or misunderstood. Resistance is common, but thinking that it is willful refusal is adding a layer to an already difficult situation. Don’t think for a second that he hasn’t picked up on your frustration with him.
If a child is not learning, do not assume it is a decision on his part not to, rather assume there is a different way to teach the material that will better work with this child.
Presuming competence does not mean any child can learn the way we might expect. Presuming competence means a person is capable and able to learn given the “necessary” and “right” accommodations for that child.
The other thing is this – feeling frustrated, having doubts, these are all things most of us who are not autistic feel from time to time. But it is imperative that we work through those feelings so that we can help our kids. They need our help to flourish and succeed.
And lastly, if you haven’t done so already – you must watch the documentary – Wretches and Jabberers. It’s available on Netflix and iTunes. You can also find a link to it by going to the “Resources” page on this blog.
I hope you’ll stay in touch and tell me how things go.