Maybe Emma really does have a thyroid issue and if I keep the appointment next week, he will run the tests and tell, me – Wow! I’ve never seen a kid with such irregular levels. Maybe everything will change because I kept this appointment.
This was my thought when Emma bounded into our bedroom this morning. ”Good waiting for light out! Good waking Mommy!” she chortled as she burrowed under the covers next to me. I allowed myself two minutes to snuggle with her before getting up.
Even though I know to not give these aberrant thoughts too much weight, it is impossible for me not to go there. I guess the difference these past seven years have made is not that I no longer have them, as stated above obviously I do, but more that I don’t always act on them. Over the years I have stopped looking to vitamin and herbal supplements as the thing that will transform Emma into a child who can comprehend all that is said to her and act accordingly. A child who does not need to be coached every step of the way when brushing her teeth, washing her hair or drying herself off. A child who is curious about the world around her and asks questions related to that wonder and curiosity. A child who can play with other children, have friendships, play-dates, sleepovers and is invited to and goes to other children’s birthday parties. I no longer believe a tincture of something will provide her with those things. But somewhere, in some small recess of my brain I can’t help but continue to hold out hope that one day we will find the thing, that magical thing that will rearrange her brain, making this world we call our own into one she too can navigate.
For more on Emma’s journey through a childhood of autism, go to: www.Emma’s Hope Book.com